Battle of Britain

stuff it ain't

This is Faye Turney (Turkey?)

the intrepid if rather overweight British gender equality sailor who in company with 14 of her fellow 'coast patrollers' was captured and then released by Mahmood the Munificent last week. Mr. Blair of course raised an emetic high moral storm about perfidious Iran and how the sailors were well within Iraqi territorial waters. How you define territorial waters in an enormous ill-defined muddy estuary is a bit puzzling, and begs the ur-question: who gave the Brits the right to be in Iraq or its waters in the first place? Why were the Brits so upset - I mean, it's not as if the Iranian navy is patrolling the coast of the Isle of Wight. No, these sailors were simply pawns in the sad little charade of the last act of Empire, and not very well equipped ones, in a little unarmed and unprotected rubber dinghy; so they rightly thought: why should they sail Mr. Blair's ducks for him?

So, in a very un-stiff upper lip manner, they sang whatever tune the Iranians wanted: apologised for straying into Iranian territory, thanked their captors for the good treatment etc etc.

When released, the predictable happened - Ms. Turney headed straight for the media, as fast as her pudgy legs would carry her, offering her 'story' for a 6 figure sum, meaning presumably more than £ 100 000. According to British military relulations, serving members are not allowed to give their accounts to the media - this time the rules were relaxed - why? was the MOD promised a percentage? And of course this time Ms. Turvey was singing a different tune, to up the ante - how she was threatened with death and rape, and stripped almost naked (could not have been a pretty sight). At least she must have felt under some honest impulse to earn her £100 000 plus. Only when howls of rage from the public intervened (for instance from a mother of one service person killed in Iraq, who unfortunately never had the opportunity to sell his story) did the British Ministry of Defence pull the plug and forbid any more of the gallant mariners blabbing to the telly. Wouldn't have been much to their stories anyway.

Moral of the story: if you start a shabby little war under false pretences, don't expect the hapless soldiers sent there to be heroes. As Slate magazine said, they are not defending their country; they are just pulling down their salaries. And who ever died for a salary (especially not good ones)?